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Written by Allyson Batista, Temple Family Council Member 

Naturally, as an alumna (Class of 1993 and 1996), I was elated that my daughter “chose Temple” (the slogan of my Owl days), and that we would become part of the Temple Legacy family!  2016 was an exciting year for my daughter with senior prom, graduation from high school, trips abroad to Costa Rica, and of course, acceptance into the Temple BSN program with significant scholarships.   She was wide-eyed and ready to dive into this new world head-first. 

Knowing my daughter and the Temple environment pretty well, I was approaching the end of August with some trepidation.  I was concerned with her ability to handle such a rigorous program but in speaking with Temple staff, I was told that she was selected from a highly competitive pool of candidates, which in and of itself spoke to her capacity.  They reminded me that if the Nursing program proved too challenging, she could always change majors. Feeling encouraged, I filed that conversation away in the back of my mind and forged ahead with confidence in my daughter’s intellect and perseverance.  I remained positive but kept reminding her that Nursing was an extremely challenging course of study and not one that could be taken lightly.  

Drawing on my own experiences as an Owl, I shared my old wisdom that while living on campus and so close to Center City, there was always going to be something more appealing to do instead of studying.  I gently encouraged prioritizing school work over everything along with stressing that organization and planning were key to the balance of studies and social life. She was ecstatic about starting school and before we knew it, she was living in her residence hall room, a single, which in her perspective, was like hitting the lottery! 

 The official start of the fall semester was a few days thereafter.  She loved her clinicals and classes but quickly, the Nursing program proved to be a challenge for our girl.  Study groups were forming and she was struggling to find her niche or at least that one person everyone needs in school to be able to count on in both good and bad times.  Sadly, it wasn’t long before she felt left behind in both an academic and social sense. She was not forthcoming about the issues initially, but when her grades were not promising in the most difficult of her courses, she had no choice but to share with me.  

We are a local family, so in mid-October of that fall semester 2016, when my daughter asked me to meet her for a late breakfast after one of her clinicals to “talk”, it wasn’t a stretch to make the quick trip down to North Broad Street.  Of course, my mind was racing through all of the different scenarios of what this “talk” would entail. Immediately, by the look on her face, I could tell that it wasn’t something good. She was terrified to confess that she was failing Anatomy & Physiology despite her best attempts to grasp the material, including the Temple-sponsored tutoring.  Consequently, her grades in the other courses were suffering due to all the time and effort she was giving to just squeak by in the A&P course. She was worried because she knew that her scholarships were performance-based and without that funding, college could become out of reach for her financially. 

As we sat in my car in front of Temple Hospital and as she talked and cried, I took deep breaths and quickly planned how I would react to the news.  I knew that my response to all of this was crucial in how we would move forward. Now, I tend to be dramatic, but this time, I knew that wasn’t going to work.  My daughter was truly confused, scared, and hurting. So, I simply asked her if she truly and honestly loved nursing, so much that she couldn’t see herself doing anything else as a career.  I explained that my reason for that question was because if her answer is yes, then I would do everything in my power to help her continue in the Nursing program and that if her grades were only mediocre and she couldn’t maintain the scholarship, we would figure things out.  If her answer is no, then we have to reevaluate and connect with the Temple advising team. 

As she continued to talk and arrive at an answer, I found that my eighteen-year-old daughter was simply in a place where she didn’t know what she wanted to do definitively.  Due to the challenging science and math classes, never her areas of strength, she was starting to believe that perhaps, college wasn’t the place for her. She was holding herself to an extreme standard and feeling inadequate for not living up to the expectations of others, and most importantly, to her own expectations.  I told her all of her feelings were valid and that it is always okay to ask for help. With the massive weight lifted, she was able to concentrate on exploring other interests.

Her freshman fall semester academic performance did result in academic probation for the spring semester, but that quickly resolved once she demonstrated her ability to excel in other courses.  In order to remain on track for “Fly in 4,” and to recuperate some of the missed courses for her new major of Public Health, she chose to attend summer sessions following her freshman year. She even re-took the Anatomy & Physiology courses and attained A’s in both!  As the years passed, she was able to achieve a cohesive balance between classes, social life, and work. She is currently a senior and is enjoying her internship at the Magee Rehabilitation Center; an experience that has even led her to consider graduate school for occupational therapy.  Happily, I can say that my owl officially applied for graduation last week and I will be more than proud to welcome her to the Temple Alumni family following her graduation this May 2020! I know she will wear the “Temple Made” status well!

I share this very personal experience as a member of the Temple Family Council and with all of you, my fellow Temple parents, because I truly believe it is important to inject honesty about the challenges, setbacks, and sometimes, even failures that your Owls may face as they navigate their college experience.  Further, if you are presently in the throes of a difficult time, I hope this serves as a beacon of hope and a reminder that there is light at the end of this journey! We all approach our student’s growth with excitement and expectations of optimal outcomes. We look to celebrate success, of course, but sometimes life throws curveballs.  

Even as young adults, it is so important for us to continue to offer support even through disappointment and to help guide them past shortcomings or less than desirable outcomes, and back on a path towards their vision of success.  Temple is a community robust with resources for almost every issue and I encourage all of you to help your student to access those resources whenever circumstances require. Although bittersweet as this is sort of my farewell as a Temple parent, I wish all of you an amazing spring semester and hope that your four years as part of the Temple family are as fantastic as mine have been.